Happy New Year to most
Posted by Lee Kyle on Saturday, January 8, 2011
Happy new year fuckers, I've had toothache so you can all fuck off.
Except you
Oh, Gigglebeats editor Andrew Dipper named me as his new act of the year...Well, who else was it going to be? http://www.gigglebeats.co.uk/2010/12/editors-review-of-2010/
Anyway, onto a serious discussion...
...CRAIG CHAPMAN - CUNT OR NOT CUNT
I preface this by stating that, for the record, Craig, on the times I have met him has always been pleasant to me, inviting me into his house on one occasion and making me feel welcome so I have no personal axe to grind, however, I do not feel that you can just judge people by how they treat you, after all Hitler loved his dog.
Craig runs an open mic night in Sunderland called Sordid Squirrel, I performed on its opening night a couple of months ago and found it a little awkward, a couple of gigs later, Peter Smith (Who I don't know) posted the following on a comedy forum of a later gig that I wasn't at:
Just a warning to all you up and coming comics out there. You don't want to be tarred with this brush.
I attended the last night arranged by these "comedians" at the Victoria Gardens in Sunderland. It was advertised as an open mike, but it appeared that all the acts had been booked in advance. Just another thing that the promotor Craig Chapman doesn't know about comedy. Some jokes of his own for instance.
The night was a complete disaster. Craig Chapman blamed this on the weather would you believe.
There was no admission charge, but I still feel I was ripped off. If I had paid for this trash I would have been demanding my money back. The first act was a young lad from newcastle, obviously inexperienced but did show some promise even if he had seen too much Michael Macintyrre. It just showed up the inexperience of the promotor that he would allow this chap to go on first. It was all downhill after that. Badly prepared, unrehearsed and just plainly unfunny.
But let's discuss the compere.Craig Chapman Not funny, stolen jokes about smelly Pakis and starving baby niggers. Is this really what comedy has become? Have we returned full circle and gone back to 1973 Life on Mars style?
The January gig has been cancelled. I suspect the venue has pulled the gig because of the racist, bigotted tripe this facist idiot Craig Chapman is spouting as part of his act.
My suggestion is you give these promotors a wide berth as there are some anti racist organisations taking some interest and there may well be disruption at future events they put on.
I've included this but really what I found interesting was Craig's reply, his comments appear in italics.
Well, it seems a Heckler that I slammed
Craig, having seen your act, I'd be amazed if this is true.
at the last The Sordid Squirrel Comedy Club night
Let's hope it is the last Sordid Squirrel Comedy Club night...ZING!
has got quite upset & decided to try & upset the club on the The British Comedy Guide,
People do sometimes get upset at racists Craig, if you are going to say racist things you're going to need a thicker skin.
but WOW! He must of been really embarrassed at how I put him down!
Or he doesn't like racism, some people don't.
If you guys don't know about this,
What? some people might not know about your club...Mind you, Craig promoted what I believe was his first ever gig as 'An evening with Craig Chapman...modesty is not really his thing.
I'll give you a quick update, I decided to fill in and MC the 2nd half of my open mic night at the Vic (OUR REGULAR VENUE)
Having had two nights there...
But a little bit about me (CRAIG CHAPMAN)...I respect Bernard Manning for the person he was & yes, I think his humour is straight and fine!
And that is the problem, you fucking racist sexist, homphobic bully.
They are just words,
JUST words, JUST words? Words are how we communicate you stupid bastard, so, if you say racist things and somebody agrees with what you said and then racially abuses somebody that is partly your fault. Just words...If you ask me how to get somewhere and I give you the wrong directions causing you to get lost this is my fault. Words inform pur beliefs which inform our actions. Nothing is more important.
I decided to, in his honour, portray some of his fantastic material that night,
He means he stole it
and for every joke I told that night that was Bernard's I credited him for it
If you don't write your own stuff, don't go on the stage.
...but nobhead 'Peter' thought it best to be a 'drunken politician' and shout out shite for all his worth ...which was fine....until...........lol........he shouted that I "Do some jokes of my own you racist b***ard"...and so I did, I nailed him completely!
You haven't given a good reason why he shouldn't have shouted you down, he was right to do so. I'd be amazed if you did nail him by the way, the month before, you performed in front of mainly your family and friends embarassing silence. By the way Craig, people aren't shocked into silence by your edginess, they just aren't laughing, also, stop playing with the mic cord.
I put him down by taking the piss out of his home town and he shut up completely and he never opened his mouth for the rest of the show whilst shaking his grey hairy beard! Hence why I think he has has posted this sour and lonely thread. A piece of advice 'Peter'
Sounds brilliant, not only that but he has a grey beard what a prick! How dare he age...Perhaps he stopped speaking because he was unsettled by your nasty little NF vibe.
"Do not go to a comedy club whether it be an open mic night or pro bill show with the impression of expecting something you want"
What, comedy? I love that you've put that in quotation marks without quoting who said it, more stolen material or just some shit you've pulled out of your arse?
So along with the 'heckler put down' I have recorded to date, I shall remind you 'Peter...' if that is your real name by the way, you heckled, and I made you look like a c**t, that's right, I said c**t!
Why c**t? Why not cunt? They are just words after all...
Deal with it.... it's just a sad sad sad infatuation you have for being noticed, this is the way live comedy works, whether it be Novice, Amateur, Pro-Bill or not; but I appreciate that you felt the need to take a bit of time out of your 'retired' time to register on the British Comedy Guide just to air your 'opinion' but, in all honesty mate, Thanks for the publicity :-D !!!
This is just jibberish, no real idea what this means.
As Bob Marley once said... "Don't worry, be happy"
Wait a minute...Bob Marley is black so Craig can't be a racist...Oh wait, one of his jokes is, 'What do you call a load of black people in a field?...The good old days!' so he is.
Craig Chapman
P.S
You don't need to use PS in an email or forum post you can go back and edit it.
Oh, and just to finish this off......................I'm off to a selection committee next year known as the Bishops Advisory Panel, hoping to be sponsored to train for the Priesthood within the Church of England.
So to be classed as a racist and a bigot is far from what I am, lol
Love that he thinks this gives him a moral edge, while for people not in his death cult it makes him seem even creepier...Can I at this point recommend everybody listen to Matt Dillahunty's Superiority of Secular Morality lecture.
.................that's just people like 'Peter' being nobheads, because they were embarrassed.
As he should have been, as should you be Craig.
Joke's are just words people.
NO. THEY ARE WORDS WITH MEANING. You've made me shout now, it's doing my toothache no good.
If you don't like a comedian, forget about them...if you don't like a show...then don't stick about!
Or, you cpuld go to good shows.
Mucho's love
Unless you are black, gay, a woman, ginger...
Craig x
So, cunt it is then.
By the way, twice I have overheard Craig say that he hates female comedians, when I confronted him he said he was just joking, it din't seem like he was but then, having seen his act, it can be difficult to tell.
Except you
Oh, Gigglebeats editor Andrew Dipper named me as his new act of the year...Well, who else was it going to be? http://www.gigglebeats.co.uk/2010/12/editors-review-of-2010/
Anyway, onto a serious discussion...
...CRAIG CHAPMAN - CUNT OR NOT CUNT
I preface this by stating that, for the record, Craig, on the times I have met him has always been pleasant to me, inviting me into his house on one occasion and making me feel welcome so I have no personal axe to grind, however, I do not feel that you can just judge people by how they treat you, after all Hitler loved his dog.
Craig runs an open mic night in Sunderland called Sordid Squirrel, I performed on its opening night a couple of months ago and found it a little awkward, a couple of gigs later, Peter Smith (Who I don't know) posted the following on a comedy forum of a later gig that I wasn't at:
Just a warning to all you up and coming comics out there. You don't want to be tarred with this brush.
I attended the last night arranged by these "comedians" at the Victoria Gardens in Sunderland. It was advertised as an open mike, but it appeared that all the acts had been booked in advance. Just another thing that the promotor Craig Chapman doesn't know about comedy. Some jokes of his own for instance.
The night was a complete disaster. Craig Chapman blamed this on the weather would you believe.
There was no admission charge, but I still feel I was ripped off. If I had paid for this trash I would have been demanding my money back. The first act was a young lad from newcastle, obviously inexperienced but did show some promise even if he had seen too much Michael Macintyrre. It just showed up the inexperience of the promotor that he would allow this chap to go on first. It was all downhill after that. Badly prepared, unrehearsed and just plainly unfunny.
But let's discuss the compere.Craig Chapman Not funny, stolen jokes about smelly Pakis and starving baby niggers. Is this really what comedy has become? Have we returned full circle and gone back to 1973 Life on Mars style?
The January gig has been cancelled. I suspect the venue has pulled the gig because of the racist, bigotted tripe this facist idiot Craig Chapman is spouting as part of his act.
My suggestion is you give these promotors a wide berth as there are some anti racist organisations taking some interest and there may well be disruption at future events they put on.
I've included this but really what I found interesting was Craig's reply, his comments appear in italics.
Well, it seems a Heckler that I slammed
Craig, having seen your act, I'd be amazed if this is true.
at the last The Sordid Squirrel Comedy Club night
Let's hope it is the last Sordid Squirrel Comedy Club night...ZING!
has got quite upset & decided to try & upset the club on the The British Comedy Guide,
People do sometimes get upset at racists Craig, if you are going to say racist things you're going to need a thicker skin.
but WOW! He must of been really embarrassed at how I put him down!
Or he doesn't like racism, some people don't.
If you guys don't know about this,
What? some people might not know about your club...Mind you, Craig promoted what I believe was his first ever gig as 'An evening with Craig Chapman...modesty is not really his thing.
I'll give you a quick update, I decided to fill in and MC the 2nd half of my open mic night at the Vic (OUR REGULAR VENUE)
Having had two nights there...
But a little bit about me (CRAIG CHAPMAN)...I respect Bernard Manning for the person he was & yes, I think his humour is straight and fine!
And that is the problem, you fucking racist sexist, homphobic bully.
They are just words,
JUST words, JUST words? Words are how we communicate you stupid bastard, so, if you say racist things and somebody agrees with what you said and then racially abuses somebody that is partly your fault. Just words...If you ask me how to get somewhere and I give you the wrong directions causing you to get lost this is my fault. Words inform pur beliefs which inform our actions. Nothing is more important.
I decided to, in his honour, portray some of his fantastic material that night,
He means he stole it
and for every joke I told that night that was Bernard's I credited him for it
If you don't write your own stuff, don't go on the stage.
...but nobhead 'Peter' thought it best to be a 'drunken politician' and shout out shite for all his worth ...which was fine....until...........lol........he shouted that I "Do some jokes of my own you racist b***ard"...and so I did, I nailed him completely!
You haven't given a good reason why he shouldn't have shouted you down, he was right to do so. I'd be amazed if you did nail him by the way, the month before, you performed in front of mainly your family and friends embarassing silence. By the way Craig, people aren't shocked into silence by your edginess, they just aren't laughing, also, stop playing with the mic cord.
I put him down by taking the piss out of his home town and he shut up completely and he never opened his mouth for the rest of the show whilst shaking his grey hairy beard! Hence why I think he has has posted this sour and lonely thread. A piece of advice 'Peter'
Sounds brilliant, not only that but he has a grey beard what a prick! How dare he age...Perhaps he stopped speaking because he was unsettled by your nasty little NF vibe.
"Do not go to a comedy club whether it be an open mic night or pro bill show with the impression of expecting something you want"
What, comedy? I love that you've put that in quotation marks without quoting who said it, more stolen material or just some shit you've pulled out of your arse?
So along with the 'heckler put down' I have recorded to date, I shall remind you 'Peter...' if that is your real name by the way, you heckled, and I made you look like a c**t, that's right, I said c**t!
Why c**t? Why not cunt? They are just words after all...
Deal with it.... it's just a sad sad sad infatuation you have for being noticed, this is the way live comedy works, whether it be Novice, Amateur, Pro-Bill or not; but I appreciate that you felt the need to take a bit of time out of your 'retired' time to register on the British Comedy Guide just to air your 'opinion' but, in all honesty mate, Thanks for the publicity :-D !!!
This is just jibberish, no real idea what this means.
As Bob Marley once said... "Don't worry, be happy"
Wait a minute...Bob Marley is black so Craig can't be a racist...Oh wait, one of his jokes is, 'What do you call a load of black people in a field?...The good old days!' so he is.
Craig Chapman
P.S
You don't need to use PS in an email or forum post you can go back and edit it.
Oh, and just to finish this off......................I'm off to a selection committee next year known as the Bishops Advisory Panel, hoping to be sponsored to train for the Priesthood within the Church of England.
So to be classed as a racist and a bigot is far from what I am, lol
Love that he thinks this gives him a moral edge, while for people not in his death cult it makes him seem even creepier...Can I at this point recommend everybody listen to Matt Dillahunty's Superiority of Secular Morality lecture.
.................that's just people like 'Peter' being nobheads, because they were embarrassed.
As he should have been, as should you be Craig.
Joke's are just words people.
NO. THEY ARE WORDS WITH MEANING. You've made me shout now, it's doing my toothache no good.
If you don't like a comedian, forget about them...if you don't like a show...then don't stick about!
Or, you cpuld go to good shows.
Mucho's love
Unless you are black, gay, a woman, ginger...
Craig x
So, cunt it is then.
By the way, twice I have overheard Craig say that he hates female comedians, when I confronted him he said he was just joking, it din't seem like he was but then, having seen his act, it can be difficult to tell.