I've just got back from Mallorca, it was canny ands that but, fuck, English people are pricks.  No other country seems to consist of people who go abroad wearing clothes with the names of their country all over.  If England is so fucking skill, what the fuck are you doing in Spain? Cunts.  Then they only eat food from places that have signs in the windows like 'Proper Cups of Tea made with PG Tips and PROPER British Milk'.  I bet some shit could make a fortune if they opened a restaurant selling genuine Asda smartprice Spaghetti Bolognese warmed through in PROPER British Microwaves.

 

What I like best about Alan Sugar is that he has no sense of humour, I think that's dead refreshing.  He was on Jonathan Ross once, and he didn't get a single one of the jokes.  He has no time in his life for fun.

 

Speaking of your wondrous Fellgate Juniors memory, I remember when Andrew Donaldson turned up late for St Mary's match against Simonside (Our bitter, just over the school hedge, arch rivals) and I filled in at left back and helped us to a nail-biting 1-0 victory.  I kept my place for the next game, and he kept threatening to get me after school and that.  Woah Donaldson! Sorry that your silky left foot and over-lapping abilty was no match for my positional sense and Des Walker like reading of the game.  Anyway, next match we were 7-0 down to the mighty St Joseph's at half time and I was replaced by him.  I was substitute from then on, even though I was a much better choice on the left of Midfield than Eric Butler, who played every game desite touching the ball less than ten times all season.

 

I currently hate psychics, there was one on 'This Morning' yesterday, who got everything completely wrong and explained it away with some shit about simply repeating what the spirits say and that you have to filter out the salient information.  At no point did Britton or Schofield just inform the audience that they were frauds, feeding on the lonely  (See also religion, by the way, di I mention I once proved that there was no God, anyway, I've since proved that the vast majority of the religious don't even think that there is a God, I'll tell you about it some time)

 

I also hate Ugly Betty.  I haven't seen it, but I'm absolutely convinced that everyone who has ever watched it is a cunt.  You can just tell that frigging Colin and Justin have Ugly Betty parties where everybody wears pyjamas and watches it while eating twiglets.

 

Chris Kamara is another twat, I hate that every week in his shit column, he talks about a chat with a footballer who's response always starts something like " Well, as you know Kammy..."  As if we're meant to believe that he's some sort of friend to all footballer's and a much loved broadcasting icon.  Kammy indeed, it's like when the Sun keeps claiming that everyone calls Heather Mills 'Mucca', no they don't, only the Sun do (Although I'm thinking about starting, I'd love to be on the Metro and turn to the person next to me and say "So, what do you think about that Lady Mucca then?"  Also, her crime seems to be accusing Paul McCarney of knocking her about, and everybody (Well' The Sun) are all like, HOW DARE YOU! HE WAS IN THE BEATLES!!! Well, Les McKeown was in the Bay City Rollers and that don't stop him looking at kiddy porn.)

 

Anyway, I'm currently becomming a bit keen on comedic legend Frank Sidebottom, specifically his sweet show on Channel M.  If you are still to be convinced, watch this marvellous clip of him 'interviewing' Iain Lee, it starts off slowly, but by the end...

 

 

I also watched him interview Emma Bunton about a song she wrote, his first question was "What colour pen did you use".