I've just been to Edinburgh, the place not the festival. It is all pretty and that and I didn't even let all of the alternative health shops annoy me like they normally would - although they still annoyed me a bit.

I came up with a poor joke, which has almost certainly been thought of before, but I thought it might amuse Keir, who is 10: Where do Scottish women keep their boob? In Edin-bra.

A very poor joke, but he is 10 and kids love that sort of stuff don't they? The easily pleased pricks. Keir came up with his own joke, which took a slightly different road: How do Scottish women go for a wee? Out of their piss-holes.

That's not even a real joke, and it stinks of bad parenting. Luckily his good old autism is always a brilliant excuse. Judge me not, world.

The 3D Loch Ness Experience is shit, don't go. It isn't a brilliant thrill ride like I thought, rather a tedious 3D lecture by a nob-head. He was a scientist, but he seemed to think that if you just have loads of anecdotes from local hotelliers and wierdos, that counts as evidence.

I stopped listening after 5 minutes, so, in fairness, I missed any brilliant scientific points that he later didn't go on to make.