You are reading this right now.
I'm doing a blog. NOW! I did some ageas ago and then I didn't do any and now I'm doing another one. You are now up to date with my news. Oh, I was Gigglebeats New Act of the Month in September and did an interview for them. I'm also on the iPlayer from about 41 minutes in, in a thing about comedy on Teesside, I sound camper than I do in my head.
Gigglebeats New Act of the Month - http://www.gigglebeats.co.uk/2011/09/new-act-of-the-month-lee-kyle/
Radio Tees documentary - December 2011 http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/
So, anyway, hello.
Not totally convinced I have anything to say but it's raining so I'm a-writing.
Looking at my site I notice that it is shit, this is because it is. I don't see how I can change that. The banner has a picture of me with my old 'Duncan off Byker Grove' hair. I have short hair now which I also hate, I slept in a hat for the first two nights of my new haircut as I thought that Claire might just divorce the shit out of me. I shouldn't have worried, clearly she didn't marry for hair.
Also, I went to Iceland. Yes, I know that it is also the name of a budget supermarket, everyone knows that. They have a penis museum. The Iceland mens handball team all have casts of their flumps in there and one is noticably smaller than the rest. I laughed at him so that I felt like a big man. There was a hamster cock that could only be seem through a magnifying glass. stupid get.
I did gigs of varying quality. That's them covered then. Have you ever driven past Runcorn at night? It's dead nice, it looks like a futuristic metropolis from the motorway. It's probably a shithole though.
Keir refused to get out of his Nana's car a few weeks ago because she's a racist so he tried to spoil her night. "Get this racist away from me!" he shouted. She is a bit racist but I think mainly in the way that stupid old people sometimes are, where they think they aren't. she stepped up and made a cracking Christmas dinner though, so she has strengths. Although last years dinner was abysmal so she's really just level on that so, in judgement, she's a bit racist and her dinner making skills are undetermined.
What a cow.
I saw a girl on the Metro with stockings tattooed onto her legs. I thought "She must love stockings." because I'm a great judge of character. They were very ornate stockings. Then I thought "She loves stocckings so much that she has tattooed them onto her legs, however this means that she can no longer wear stockings because then it'll look like she has two pairs of stockings on." She loves stockings so much that she has ensured that she can never wear stockings again.
I went to see the shoe tree today, because I heard John Scott talk about it on the radio and also because i can't think of anything else to do in Newcastle. It's a tree near Heaton in Newcastle which, for reasons I don't know, has hundreds of pairs of shoes thrown into its branches (I assume thrown, rather than it grows its own.). We couldn't find it at first and saw a tree with one pair of shoes on a branch. We assumed that the stories about it had been built up somewhat. When we did happen upon it, it was fucking incredible, it looks like a magical world or something. I threw a pair of shoes up but they knocked two other pairs down. I threw them back up though.
Then we had chips.
This'll do
Thistle do...There's a pun in that, probably not a joke though.